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Vacuuming one Lego - negligible.
Vacuuming all the Lego - irresponsible The line - somewhere in between.
Joey Bene
1 min read
I am a thought leader.
I lead thoughts. I walk in the front of the thoughts and I lead them. “Follow me, thoughts!” I yell. I lead them in circles, through the...
Joey Bene
1 min read
We need to reach across the aisle to our counterparts and bridge the gap, so…
people who use umbrellas: I don’t get it, but I’m willing to listen.
Joey Bene
1 min read
The guy who didn't trademark YOU JUST PROVED THIS SIGN WORKS is rolling over in his cubicle.
You just proved this blog works.
Joey Bene
1 min read
Joey Bene
1 min read
Don't sacrifice your MENTAL HEALTH to your JOB...
… Sacrifice it to the demon BeelZebub, Lord of the Flies, in exchange for like, 100 followers on IG. Worth it.
Joey Bene
1 min read
Free car commercial script:
The [YEAR] [MAKE] [MODEL] is not for just anyone. It’s for a select few. For those who go against the grain For the road less traveled...
Joey Bene
1 min read
My Words Per Minute reached bragging levels just when people stopped caring.
I'm keeping it on my resume.
Joey Bene
1 min read
Joey Bene
1 min read
I can't believe it's not butter but I'm progressively less sure of myself
I can't believe it's not butter I'm pretty sure it's not butter I'm uncertain if it's butter Is it butter? I don't think it's butter It's...
Joey Bene
1 min read
“Embarking” is a 50/50 word for me
Embarking on an epic fantasy adventure? Yes please. Embarking on a path of self-discovery? Hell no.
Joey Bene
1 min read
Things I learned from my Peloton instructor
1. If I hang out at the gym long enough, someone might ask me if I want a job yelling at a small television
Joey Bene
1 min read
POLL: “You just proved this ad works” is...
Good: I just proved this ad works BAD: Why is no one advertising on it then?
Joey Bene
1 min read
You're either a person who starts pens or a person who finishes pens.
There is no in between.
Joey Bene
1 min read
Pants that are a bit too tight will ruin your day
BUT, forgetting your belt will also ruin your day. Therefore we can conclude that a good day requires the perfect fit of pants.
Joey Bene
1 min read
My experience with fireworks
Hearing them and wondering what holiday it is. If I can't figure out the holiday, wondering if I'm under attack.
Joey Bene
1 min read
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